 The Worst

Last night was my worst date ever!
 PARTNER, I feel so bad for you.
 Yeah, and this is your worst golf ever.
 Worse than golfing with you?

I hoped for a diamond ring, and I got a sock puppet instead.
 Your lifetime bar must have suffered, PARTNER!
 I hoped for a golf partner and I got a ventriloquist instead.
 You and your cubic zirconium fantasies!

I hoped for the cuddle couch, and I got the pool table instead.
 I can see the red drama mask now, PARTNER!
 I'm not taking you on Sims Vacation with me, you whiner.

I'm sorry that I left without telling you.
 Let's play footsie in the pro shop later, PARTNER!
 Hey, the sock puppet was more fun than you.
 